Wednesday, September 8, 2010

And then, sometimes...

Fucking tango.

I wish I could find where I originally read this, but I think the blog is gone. But this has really stuck with me. Here is how I remember it:

The woman was American, living in Buenos Aires long-term. One evening, one of the older milonguero/as, observing that she always left the milonga alone, told her, "Find someone to take care of you. The milonga is not enough."

I'm in a place like that, right now. Sometimes the milonga just makes things worse. This was one of those nights, in spite of and also because of my several very nice dances. What do you do with a dance where you embrace each different partner like a lover--and leave by yourself? It is so difficult for me to separate the two right now--the emotions of the dance and my emotions off the dance floor.

"The milonga is not enough."


Found that passage again, by accident. It was in a post by Deby, writer of the blog TangoSpam/La Vida con Deby.

Finally she says to me "Find someone to take care of you.  Someone to love you.  Don't be alone.  The tango is not enough."

~La Vida con Deby: "The Milonga Chronicles: The Tango Is Not Enough."


  1. Even if you have a person in your life to go home with, tango can leave wounds. I find that there must be, even in the most intimate dance, a boundary. Believe me when I say I have worked very hard, and this includes intentional work through yoga practice, to stay positive, to connect with open heart, and to enjoy....and then to leave it behind. Might be a good time to work on the stuff outside the milonga?
    Hope it gets better,

  2. A guy once said to me "if I hadn't the tango, being single for such a long time would just have driven me crazy". The power of the embrace I guess...

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  4. Thank you, Elizabeth and Anon. It varies based on lots of things (some of which I am indeed working on, outside of tango). Sometimes tango helps; sometimes--more rarely, though--it makes it worse. Either way, it's very good to know that others do share similar struggles.

  5. Tango acts as an almost perfect substitute for many people: it is often because of tango that we are and will remain alone. And being alone is what suits some people...